Living at home versus living in a dorm/apartment
Living in an apartment or a dorm is better than living at home. It is better value for money to live somewhere close to school or to where you work. You save money, at will especially save the amount of travelling you would need to do. We all know that there is no place like home, but to become a confident adult you need to be willing to explore, meet new people, and go to new places, as long as this does not put you in harm's way, or into personal troubles. The act of living alone also proves to yourself and everyone that you know you can take care of yourself and that you are independent. It also proves that you are able to make your own choices, shape your own future and understand what is good for you and what is not good for you.
Moving out is the best way to force yourself out there, and to make new friends and get involved with new experiences. In being away from home you make new acquaintances, who give you access to better prospects and relationships in life. Your social development, and also your intellectual and emotional development, is facilitated by living in this way. Meeting a diverse range of people from lots of different backgrounds is one of the best ways to broaden your mind and open up to new experiences, helping you to understand yourself better and ultimately have a better quality of life.
Moving out isn't the end of the world either. If you find that you are not ready, or that it does not suit you, it is no shame to go back home, to an environment that you feel comfortable in.
One-career versus two-career family
These days, it is most practical to have a family in which each partner has a career (or a two-career family), because the economy is poor, and having two careers helps to bring in more money, and to give an overall better chance of income and prosperity for the future. Two separate jobs helps to hedge against one partner facing redundancy in difficult times, and if this does happen then at least there is one full time job to help pay for things while the other partner hunts for a new job. Two careers make things more dynamic and help to enhance personal relationships, Someone who has a career is likely to be intelligent and interesting, and so it is very rewarding to live with someone like this. There are still lots of commitments that need to be faced, and often the marriage or partnership is the last one to be addressed, behind work, housekeeping and of the needs of the children. With two full time jobs, there is much less available time to spend with the children, whereas there is much more for one of the partners in a one-career family. With two careers going, each partner must fight the problems and dilemmas in each other's career progression, while dealing with the more mundane aspects of family life like school runs and chores. Partners need to be flexible, and this is highly important when there are two full time jobs. Many external factors mean that control over life in general is much harder to do in a two-career family. People in a two-career marriage need to be able to balance the career component and the family component, even when the family is young. Thompson states that you need to be able to separate marriage from work (Thompson, Cheryl A.). Many unforeseen problems arise due to complicated work issues for two-career families, though if considerations are made, and practical schedules are developed, with a creative mindset and healthy communication between family members, a two-marriage family can be very exciting and very rewarding for everyone in it, and families which can last like this usually go on to be very strong and successful
Living together versus marriage
Marriage is one idea that many believe can help improve the well being, health and success of humans around the world, and there is much proof to back this idea up. Scholars maintain that people in marriage and more likely to be happier mentally, have a healthier life, enjoy an overall better quality of life, and live longer. They rank high in fulfillment, and are much less likely to develop mental problems. Living together before marriage, or having a family and not being married is less beneficial than marriage for the couple. Partnership without marriage brings more conflicts and increases the chance of aggressive behavior, and a better chance of the partnership breaking down over time. Married people have been shown to live longer than people who are not married, even if they are in a partnership. Married people have better psychological health, and are less likely to need health care services (Stanton, 1997).
Living with someone else without marriage is soulless, and removes the chance for God to enter the relationship. Not getting married means not making a true commitment, or willingness to make a commitment, to hard work which must be present in everything we do in life if it is to have meaning. The foundations of a successful relationship are accountability and commitment, and without them, the easy life mentality present in modern society will reflect in the relationship. Couples living with one another will often think that they are free to leave when they want, and that the financial goals between each partner becomes a competition, which is something most married couples don't have. The vows that a married couple make on their wedding day have a stronger bond based on their vows, and there is usually less volatility in a married relationship. This means that when times do get difficult, it is easier to work through and get to the resolution. Married relationships grow stronger with each day, helping to sustain your love for each other. All in all marriage is proof that your relationship is not trivial, and the fact that the law binds you together, and gives you sense of permanency makes break ups far more unlikely thanks to there being no easy way out. It makes partners more committed, especially through the inevitably difficult times.
Stanton, Glenn T. Living Together (1997)
Thompson, Cheryl A. Tips for Managing Two-Career Marriage.
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Today it is common for children to be raised by just one of their parents, and those children are often disadvantaged in several ways. The most consistent finding from studies of family structure shows that single parents exert weaker controls and make fewer demands on their children than married families do (Curtin et al. 368). There is a real easy explanation for this problem, it is the simple fact that two parents together make more rules and are more likely to stick by those rules than single parents are (Curtin et al. 368).
Single parents are not able to show the same emotions as married couples can, because the love between a mother and a father plays an important part in a family. Children learn how to love from their parents, but if both parents are not there to teach them how to love, their love might be somewhat one-sided (Curtin et al. 371). Yes, single parents can show their love toward their children, but they have no spouse to express love to. Children from single parent families are therefore denied that learning experience of how a husband and a wife should love one another (Curtin et al. 369).
Relationships are another thing that everyone needs, especially children. Children need a real strong relationship between themselves and their parents, but children from single parent families are usually denied this privilege because they are separated from one of their parents and often do not get to spend adequate time with the other. Children who have a strong relationship with their parents are more likely to respect the authority of their parents (Curtin et al. 370). The problem with single parent is the fact that usually the single parent does not have the time to help the child develop a close relationship with them. Another problem is how a child can build a strong relationship with a parent they do not live with and often do not see on a regular basis. The simple fact is that children need both of their parents in the household to build a close relationship with and to teach them to respect the parent’s authority. True, not all children from two parent households have close relationships with their parents, but it is much more likely.
Gender also plays an important role in families. Men and women have very different characteristics, both emotionally and physically. These different characteristics contribute to their roles as mothers and fathers (Curtin et al. 369). For instance, men are normally much stronger physically than women, and are therefore able to do many things around the house that a woman cannot. Women are much more likely to do the everyday household chores while the man does the heavy duty work. Women usually tend more to the children when they need things than do the men, and also help them more with emotional type problems (Curtin et al. 369). So it is easy to see why having both parents in the household makes a much more well-rounded family atmosphere.
When both parents are not in the household children after experience a great deal of stress from different aspects of their lives. This stress often comes from children who are forced into independence and self-reliance before they are mature enough to cope (“Children” 58). Many single parents leave their children at home or send them to low quality day cares centers while they are at work, causing stress on the children (“Children” 60). Yes, two parent families often leave their children at home or send them to low quality day cares, but studies show that it is ten times more likely to happen in single parent families (“Children” 59).
Another time which brings a great deal of stress to single parent homes is the holidays. The holidays are a time when families should be together. Single parents may not be able to provide this for their children (“Holidays” 3). Another problem that arises during the holidays is that of gift competition between the parents (“Holidays” 3). The problem with the parents competing over who gets the best gift is the fact that the children often feel as if the parents want to but their love instead of earning it by showing them love.
Children of single parent homes also face stress by always worrying about everything that is going on in their lives. According to Richard Kinsey single parent children worried more about school, family, future, finding work, crime, and their environment by a large margin (16). However, the biggest worry of these children was about their own personal loves and what was going to happen to them as they grew up (Kinsey 16).
Richard Kinsey also did a survey on crimes committed by children in both two parent homes and single parent homes. He found that children in two parent homes self-reported committing crimes at a rate of 59%, but children from single parent homes self-reported committing crimes at a rate of 74% (16). This survey gives a strong emphasis of how important the respect of authority if for children. It also showed how children form single parent homes are more likely to commit crimes than the children from two parent homes.
Single parent homes not only reflect or cause stress upon children, but also upon the parent. Single mothers especially feel stress when a father figure is not present (Allen et al. 390). According to the survey done by Katherine Allen and Peggy Quinn, seventy percent of the single mothers reported that they always worried about money (390). Not only was money a big issue, but also time and energy (392). These single mothers are put under pressure from about every aspect of their lives, and without a husband there to help raise a family, pay the bills, and to show them love, the single mother must nearly feel hopeless.
Another big stress for single mothers is the fact that now they have the responsibility of two parents (Allen et al. 392). One woman describes how she felt: “And on the weekends then, mow the yard, and clean the house, and wash the clothes. When you get done doing that, its Monday all over again” (Allen et al. 392). Most parents form two parent homes realize the responsibility they have and the stress that they face with a spouse there to support them, but just imagine that spouse not being there to help support and help with the responsibilities of the family and that is exactly what it is like to be a single parent.
Now we have seen the pressures that single mothers face, but what about single fathers because there are many of them in the world today. One example can be found in the article ” A Singular Experience,” by Brad Andrews. Andrews himself is a single father and he discusses the overwhelming responsibilities of being a single father (8). He now has to do all of the household chores and take care of the children all by himself. He can no longer play catch with his son after dinner because now he has to do the dishes (8). These single parent situations create instability and do not provide a positive environment for children to grow up in. Both a father and a mother are needed to create a stable environment and a positive place from children to live.
Another example is the article “Single Fathers With Custody” by Alfred DeMaris and Geoffrey Grief. DeMaris and Grief explain the fact that single fathers experience the same worries and overwhelming responsibilities that single mothers do. Fathers face financial worries, pressures from work, and pressure of time for himself and his children (DeMaris et al. 260).
The simple fact is that being a single parent is a very difficult task, whether it is a single father or a single mother. A family consists of a father and a mother with their children, not just one parent. Single parent homes create a lot of stress and worries on the parent as well as the children, and the stress and worries are not needed by either. After all, it takes two to make a child; it should take two to raise a child.